What I Wish I Knew About Filipina Beauty as a Child
Photo by Avel Chuklanov on Unsplash.com
By: Khristina Cabrera
During the summers, my mom worries that I’m getting too dark. Now, in the midst of August at the Jersey shore, she frets every time I announce that I’m going to the beach, fluttering around my room with spray bottles of Banana Boat sunscreen and a firm warning that I shouldn’t tan too much. There exists a valid concern against skin cancer, of course, but in truth she is mostly worried, as many Filipinas are, that being too tan is equivalent to not being pretty.
Dark skin is not the only characteristic that Filipinas are afraid of. Flat noses, a short stature, frizzy hair: these are all traits shared by many Filipinas, but are simultaneously looked down upon by the majority.
As the daughter of two Philippine immigrants, growing up in the United States meant being governed by both these traditional Filipina beauty standards and American aesthetic norms. The American Dream claims that I can be whatever or whomever I want to be, but at eight years old, when I announced to my parents that I wanted to be Miss America, they just laughed, shook their heads, and said that I was never going to be tall enough to be Miss America.
Granted, this was long before R’Bonney Gabriel in 2022 made history as the first Filipina-American to win Miss USA—and subsequently Miss Universe 2022—but this memory solidified itself as a private source of embarrassment for my shorter stature. Even so, Gabriel is at least four inches taller than me at 5’7”.
Shame is a common yet invisible thread woven in many Filipina experiences. It is the very thing that everyone talks around, an intense fear of vulnerability swapping genuine openness with the idle comfort of tranquil, domestic scenes. We never speak of this to anyone, least of all ourselves.
Why this constant panic? What is it that we are afraid of?
Below, I’ve outlined some common reasons for internalized Filipina shame, as well as a personal list to remind myself to better embrace my unique features and thus my heritage.
Ethnocentrism in Filipina Beauty Standards
How is it possible that, in a country full of national pride, we still gravitate toward eurocentric features?
Growing up, I was often told that I was beautiful because I looked mestiza. I always had a pointed nose, like the Spaniards that had once colonized the Philippines, a trait that is correlated with being “high class”. This compliment ballooned my chest with pride and vanity, but just as quickly, I felt guilty. I found myself thinking that I was prettier than other Filipinas, because I didn’t match a stereotypical Filipina appearance.
Furthermore, I derived happiness from this comment because, growing up in the United States, I didn’t see many celebrities that looked like I did. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin were qualities shared by models splashed on the covers of my beloved People magazines. I quietly thought to myself: the less Filipina I look, the better.
Echoes of the Philippines’ colonial past marked my childhood, even from an ocean away. It was only when I left my small town for college in a big city and surrounded myself with other Filipinos and Filipinas that I began to think about the detrimental consequences of this eurocentric mindset, how it had alienated me from my own culture.
Mikaela Martinez, a twenty-year-old college student born and raised in the United States, also felt the constant tug between adhering to eurocentrism and celebrating her own Filipina features.
Over a Zoom computer screen, she gestures to her face. “I even remember being a child and having my mom pinch my nose, because she was trying to shape it into a smaller size,” Mikaela explains. “She would sing to me, too. Tilos tilos ang ilong, ang ilong ay tilos tilos.” Sharp sharp is the nose, the nose is sharp sharp.
I take a closer look. This is my first time speaking with Mikaela, and her nose didn’t seem wide to me. There is a pang of sadness in my chest then, for all the insecurities that Filipinas still face in 2025.
Upon being asked what other features eurocentrism has trickled into, Mikaela takes a moment to think, leaning back in her desk chair.
“Absolutely,” she says. “The number one trait I can think of is skin color.”
Pale skin has long reigned as a beauty standard in the Philippines, she tells me, with many women trying their best to avoid tanning by avoiding the skin. Some women even use creams, take supplements, or get glutathione IV treatments to avoid getting too dark.
On the other hand, Cathy Aguinaldo, an oncology nurse who belongs to Generation X, doesn’t think quite as deeply about the effects of colonialism in the Philippines.
“No, tanning isn’t good,” is all she says, upon being asked her thoughts on fair versus dark skin. She is frowning, a scrunch forming between her eyebrows. She reminds me of my mother, fluttering around my bedroom with spray bottles of Banana Boat sunscreen. “We shouldn’t be in the sun. We’ll get too dark.”
I ask her if she thinks this is something we should work towards changing in Filipina culture.
Cathy frowns again. “No, we aren’t White. We don’t need to tan.”
This makes me think back on the glossy People magazine covers that stared out at me from the grocery store checkout lines: blonde, blue eyes, fair. In the Zoom meeting in front of me, I can see my own features laid out of dark hair, dark eyes, and olive skin.
Another pang of sadness rings in my chest like a bell.
The Rise of East Asian Culture
With the rising global popularity of Korean pop culture, East Asian beauty standards are taking the Philippines by storm. My first introduction to the “Korean Wave” was back in middle school, when one of my titas became a brand ambassador for Atomy, a Korean beauty company. Ecstatic, my mom bought shampoo, hair conditioner, and moisturizer using my tita’s discount. “You know those Koreans, they have such nice skin and hair,” she gushed. In her tone I detected a faint sense of envy, bubbling underneath all the lively veneer.
The fair skin of Koreans is a stinging source of jealousy in the Philippines. With a plethora of K-dramas aimed at an older audience and K-pop idols geared toward a younger crowd, there is no shortage of Korean celebrities appearing “clean and white” on television screens, in stark contrast to the naturally darker skin of many Filipinas, no matter what generation.
A great number of Filipinas aspire to resemble their favorite Korean performers, enabling a burgeoning beauty market to grow nationally. According to Jasmine Ticmon, a university student and writer with PinoySeoul.com, in spite of their high prices, Korean cosmetics are regarded as “high-end items” that will contribute to looking more beautiful. Etude House, Nature Republic, Skin Food, and Tonymoly are just a few Korean cosmetic companies that have opened their doors in the Philippines, capitalizing on the general popularity of Korean products that promote lighter skin.
Although there is no intentional harm in a Filipina immersing herself in Korean cosmetics, Sophia Delos Reyes, a Filipina immigrant now studying biology in New Jersey, believes this can lead to yet another repression of Filipina pride, just like the colonial mindset from ethnocentrism.
“Filipino society is always seemingly holding another ethnicity to a higher standard than their own,” she explains, swirling her iced coffee around with her straw. A friend of my co-worker’s, we met up at a coffee shop near the Jersey Shore to chat over drinks. “It’s something I actually find rather ironic, as Filipinos are also typically very proud to be Filipino. Still, I think that the pride Filipinos hold cannot fully be genuine until society can start to see the beauty in its native and indigenous features.”
We laugh about how it’s getting to that point in the summer where we’re getting too dark for our families’ likings.
“Filipina beauty standards are a reflection of the Philippines’ struggle to let go of a colonial mindset,” Sophia says. “Whether it be chasing a European nose or wishing for Korean eyes, Philippine society is always holding another ethnicity to a higher standard than their own.”
Nothing is really funny, but we have to laugh anyway.
Speak Openly About Your Worries
How, then, to combat this internalized shame of our appearances? How should we stop clinging to the beauty standards of other cultures, and begin to embrace our own unique features?
My first suggestion is starting an open discussion.
As Filipinas, we should not be afraid of our own bodies. Tucking our perspectives and opinions away in some inner crevice of ourselves will only foster the continuous cycle that has been ongoing for generations.
As difficult as it is, asking hard questions is a surefire way to begin confronting our inner worries head-on. Here are some questions you might be asking yourself:
- “Why don’t I see people that look like me on television or magazine covers?”
- “Why is my skin so dark?”
- “Why does no one around me look the same way I do?”
Discussing these questions with other Filipinas will help us reach acceptance and move onto honoring our natural appearances. It’s a relief to know that we are not alone.
Celebrating Unique Features
Unlearning thought processes from childhood and embracing Filipina features may seem like a scary ordeal to some, but this doesn’t need to be the case. Change starts with us.
I listed out some positive affirmations that personally help me when doubt starts to well up in my throat:
- “There’s nothing wrong with being dark.”
- “My complexion is my own, and no one else’s.”
- “Everyone has their own unique story.”
Remembering that you are telling your own personal story, which is entirely your own. No one’s experience is more valid than another.
Reminding ourselves every day that we are beautiful will allow us to celebrate the way we look, and over time, the thoughts will come more naturally.
Every Filipina’s Journey is Different
My personal journey with Filipina beauty standards is different from Mikaela’s, Sophia’s, and Cathy’s. It’s even different from my mother’s or my sister’s. It’s different from yours.
Coming together to share thoughts and ways that we can improve as a culture not only brings connectivity to Filipinas, but also uplifts our community. These discussions stem from a place of deep pride for our mother country and wanting the best for our fellow Filipinas.
Always remember: you are beautiful, and you are not alone.
Starting these conversations and embracing who we are with open arms will allow us to thrive in our Filipina bodies, approaching our appearances with love.